Everything Vegan Unisex Tees, Righteous Apparel for Landlubbers of All Orientations

Ahoy you scallywags. Veganswashbuckler, aka Squashbuckler, has alit on terra firma once again, and I’ve brought me first mate John along for a joint review of some high Vegan fashion*.  Me old schooner is full of languorous, lewd laddies, but John is me best mate, and we’ve shared many a repast o’ seaweed at sea.  But today, we’re here for style, not vittles, and we’re sharing with ye our sentiments on Everything Vegan’s Unisex tees.

Product: I Yam What I Yam Unisex Tee and I’m Not Saying I’m Perfect but I am Vegan Unisex Tee

Squashbuckler (left) in “I’m not saying I’m perfect but I am vegan” unisex tee. John (right) in “I yam what I yam” unisex tee.

Overall Grade: A

Pros:

  • There be many varieties of message for any sort o’ Vegan ye can ponder. Ye got your ethical Vegans, your health Vegans, your environmental Vegans; whatever your reason for being Vegan, Everything Vegan has a shirt for you to proclaim it throughout the seven seas. Now ye don’t have to get that tattoo!
    • John’s translation: They’ve got lots of shirts for a variety of vegan-themed messages: ethical reasons, health reasons, environmental reasons, and, in my case, silly vegans.
  • Many shirts come in a variety of hues. Ye don’t like white? Get it in blue! Ye don’t like blue? Get it in green! Ye don’t like green? Stop being so picky or it’s off to the plank with ye!
    • John’s translation: Pick your color! Any color!
  • The shirts fit nicely and are quite pleasant on me delicate skin, and they’ll make ye look like a real haberdasher in those pantaloons ye plundered on your last pillage.
    • John’s translation: I threw it in the dryer to get a perfect fit
  • The folks at Everything Vegan don’t beat around the bush.  Everything they make be themed of the Vegan.  So when ye send them your money, they won’t be making tees for the corpsemunchers behind your back just to acquire a bit more treasure.
    • John’s translation: Yes, “corpsemunchers”

Cons:

  • We got no complaints. Be Vegan and be proud; check out their stash and I’m certain you’ll find a shirt that’s right for ye; otherwise, ye may have a mutiny on your hands.

 

*We will happily accept vegan products in exchange for an honest review from a member from our review team. Please contact us if interested.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Tofurky Ham & Cheese Style Pockets- Vegan MoFo Day 14

Ahoy, mateys.  Veganswashbuckler, the piratical bane of the shores of all carcass devourers, is on extended leave from a plundering, and I’m at yer service with another Vegan chow review.  Today, I get in touch with me inner bachelor, and review an item perfect for any gentleman with a heart o gold who’s too inept or lazy to cook a fine cruelty free meal for himself.

tofurky-pocket-seal.

Tofurky Ham & Cheese Style Pocket overall grade: A-

I gave me chef the day off on this one, as any rank amateur can handle prepping one of these fine repasts.  He’d better bring me ship back the way I left it, or I just might leave him on a deserted island next time we’re in the neighborhood.  But I digress.  I prepared me pocket the way it was meant to be, in the microwave, and it cooked up nicely.  A fine chef am I.  Here is what you get when you do it right:

tofurkypocket2

Looks mighty tempting, I’d say.  But hands off!  Tis for me.  The cheese and briny haminess were a gourmet complement to one another, and it sure reminded me of those very hot pockets I ate in the distant past, the ones that were done in two minutes and would burn a hole in yer mouth if ye lacked the requisite patience.  I’d say the overall product is very tasty, though they be a bit stingy on the filling, methinks.  But if yer expecting authentic ham and cheese taste, Tofurky has delivered.  The convenience is mighty enticing, and the cleanup is much easier than swabbing the deck.

On the negative side, I did not count the ingredients, but I’d estimate them at around 30, so it may not be the healthiest treat.  And one pocket cost me $2.99, so I’d need to do a lot more raiding and plundering if I made a regular habit of these delectables.  But hey, if yer at home hangin around in yer skivvies and you’ve knocked back a bit too much of the ole grog, these pockets just may hit the spot!

 

 

 

 

Field Roast Gives Tofurky a Run for Their Treasure- MoFo Day 10

Grade: B+

Ahoy, mateys!  Your favorite Vegan pirate has disembarked again to review another worthy Vegan product.  Today I bring you a Vegan sausage from the good landlubbers at Field Roast, provisioners of other Vegan victuals such as deli slices and Chao cheese.  Tis football season, after all, and it makes a great excuse for my first mates to entertain without resorting to cruel obscenities, such as slaying at least 25 of fowl to provide a mere 50 Buffalo wings.  These links will satisfy any wretched corpse muncher, and if they still want to bellyache to ye, tie them to the mast and leave them for the albatrosses and the gullies!

The particular sausage I’m reviewing today is their smoked apple sage.  For various reasons, I rate it a B+, as I must compare the caliber of this product to that of the other fine provisioners at Tofurky, and I give the edge to Tofurky.  Tofurky be the OGs of mock meat, and any worthies to challenge them have their work cut out for them.

 

smokedapplesage

 

That is what you need to look for in the stores, mateys.  And I must warn ye, if you are a Vegan who shies away from mock meats that are too authentic, then this is not for ye.  I found the flavor of this delicacy quite satisfying after a long voyage with nothing but filthy laddies (and ye may think a sausage would be the last thing I’d want to see after such an arduous journey).  The texture was also very fine, but not quite on a par with whatever Tofurky has concocted for their links.  Just something oddly crumbly to me in these sausages.  One bonus behooves these sausages over the Tofurky, and it be in their packaging.  Without using much extra material, all four links be individually wrapped, so ye need not worry about eating all four within a matter of days.  For my gluten free mates, this product is strictly verboten, me fear; there are other brands that provide gluten free sausages, and keep yer eyes out for land and for these patties when they hit a store near you.

My chef prepared my meal with gluten free penne pasta, imported from the distant shores of Costco, he tells me, though I’m unfamiliar with this part of the seven seas.

 

smokedapplesagemeal

 

In it he added some onions and garlic, a healthy amount of olive oil, a bit of salt, dried sage, and red pepper flakes, and butternut squash with a drizzle of maple syrup to boot.  As ye can see, he sliced the links up on a bias, but he failed and should have added more sausage!  Alas, I’ll keep him around as he’s the best I got, and Polly has taken a liking to him.

Back to the boat, mateys; those shores won’t plunder themselves.  Arr!

 

 

 

 

Kite Hill Mushroom Ricotta Ravioli is a Pirate’s Treasure – MoFo Day 2

Happy Vegan MoFo Day 2! Today we have a special guest blog post for you! Enjoy mates!

Overall Grade: A

 

Ahoy there you landlubbers, Veganswashbuckler here, back for another Vegan cuisine review.  I’ve been out to sea, and it’s good to be back on dry land; while seaweed is delicious and nutritious, and staves away the Scurvy, your captain was getting pretty sick of it.

While sailing the seven seas and plundering the shores of the carcass eaters and fighting the trawlers and whalers, your first mate made a stop by Italy to try out a new, glutiny delight from the almond cheese experts at Kite Hill: their mushroom ricotta ravioli.  A fine meal it was, and it reminded me of what it was like to be a miserable baby cow milk munching scalawag, without all of the feelings of guilt and complicity.

kite-hill-rav-seal

These ravioli are jumbo sized, though 10 in the pack may have left a hungry pirate like me a little unsatisfied.  These are a gourmet treat, mateys, and make sure you bring along a nice side of veggies if you’re planning to share.

As far as taste, I’d say these nuggets were mighty authentic, with a delicate, cheesy filling that was mighty pleasing to me palate.  And for all of my gluten-free first mates, I beseech the good gentlemen and gentlewomen at Kite Hill to try out a version without the wheat.  And if you could do it without raising the price, I won’t make ye walk the plank.  These pockets of pasta bliss will please any Vegan or non-Vegan you may know, and for all the non-Vegans out there, stop lining the pockets of the animal torturers, or I’ll make ye swim with the fishes!  With fine options such as this, no need for you to bellyache about not being able to live without meat.  If your friend the Veganswashbuckler can do it, then shut yer mouth unless yer filling her with cruelty free sustenance.

If you’re wondering how your favorite Vegan pirate had his ravioli, my chef prepared it with an Earth Balance margarine sauce that included mixed mushrooms, spinach, garlic, and red pepper flakes, with a sprinkle of salt, nutritional yeast, dried oregano, and dried sage.  It was enough to make Mario Batali, Giada de Laurentiis, and Chef Boyardee reformed Vegans!  Believe me when I tell you, Chef Boyardee would be pleased to know he’d never have to eat beefaroni again.

Arr!

kitehillplatedravioli

 

 

 

 

 

Shiver Me Timbers! Gardein Golden Fishless Filets

In the days of my youth, my parents would occasionally treat me to the only places that turned fish into a highly unhealthy meal choice, either Long John Silver’s or Captain D’s.  I wonder what the D stood for?  Anyway, I remember how delicious the batter was, as it sweated grease that turned whatever paper container it was in translucent, and if I was really lucky, the smiling food server would dump a pile of “crispies” in my bag for good measure, just in case the fish itself weren’t enough to ensure a heart attack by age forty.  Nevertheless, I remember the fish being really good, and if you have a hankering for a much healthier but still very tasty version of this Long John’s or Captain’s fare, well Veganswashbuckler has a remedy for you, matey: Gardein Golden Fishless Filets!

gardein_frz_FishlessFilet_US_Sm1-225x238

Now, these are frozen and very authentic tasting, and the package may say something about baking being an optional cooking method.  If you want to go down that path, I’m sure you’ll have a fine tasting result, but I’ve never done anything other than pan saute mine.  When pan sauteing this and similar frozen items, I recommend using a tablespoon at least of oil and cooking over medium heat.  To prevent getting oil all over your range top, I would put the oil in the pan, then your filet, then turn the burner on.  This way the iciness thaws and splashing is much less than if you were to just stick a frozen filet in hot oil.

A great way to enjoy these beauties is in faux fish tacos.  Here is how I recommend you go about doing this.

What you’ll need:

  • Gardein Golden Fishless Filets, sauteed then sliced into strips (if you’re gluten-free, Sophie’s Kitchen makes a similar product that’s available in the freezer at Whole Foods)
  • Soft tortillas, either corn or flour
  • Shredded cabbage
  • Cheddar or pepperjack Daiya
  • Salsa, your favorite store bought brand or homemade
  • Cilantro

These are a breeze to make.  If you want your Daiya to melt, you’ll want to throw your filet strips into the tortillas while still hot and add the Daiya right away.  To assemble, simply cover your tortilla in a damp paper towel then nuke it for about 20 seconds to make it soft and easier to work with.  Take it out of the microwave then pour some salsa down the center, top that with filet strips then Daiya, but don’t get too overzealous, as it will be impossible to eat if it’s overstuffed.  Top that with shredded cabbage and cilantro then fold it over, and voila!  Faux fish tacos that will satisfy any landlubber!

20151102_120011    20151102_120158